Local Man Claims Regular Women "Lack Magical Resonance," Exclusively Dating Astral Entities
Marcus Webb, a 32-year-old who describes himself as a "planeswalker," has abandoned terrestrial romance entirely after discovering what he calls "interdimensional courtship" through astral projection.
Webb's transformation began two years ago when he started practicing out-of-body travel. "Physical women operate on such a narrow frequency," Webb explained from his apartment, which smells permanently of sandalwood. "They can't perceive energy fields, they've never manifested thought-forms, and their chakras are completely unaligned with cosmic harmonics."
His current romantic interest is an entity he met during a projection to what he terms "the crystal palace." According to Webb, she communicates through pure intention rather than speech and exists as "concentrated starlight with feminine consciousness."
"Her presence feels like standing inside a cathedral made of music," Webb said. "She understands the fundamental mathematics underlying reality. We don't need small talk when we can share memories directly through soul-bonding."
Webb's roommate Jake expressed concern about the situation. "He sits in lotus position for hours talking to empty air. Last month he asked me to set an extra place at dinner for his 'astral companion.' I'm worried he's losing touch with reality."
The self-taught mystic insists his supernatural relationships are more authentic than conventional dating. "I've experienced pure love unfiltered by ego or physical limitations," he said. "Why would I settle for someone who can't even leave their body?"
Webb acknowledged certain practical difficulties. "Physical intimacy requires creative solutions when your partner exists in a different dimensional phase. But the emotional connection transcends anything possible in ordinary consciousness."
When asked about his long-term plans, Webb remained optimistic despite recent setbacks. "My last relationship ended when she ascended to a higher vibrational plane. But I'm working on expanding my own consciousness to follow her there."
